It pays to be cooperative. At least you will not be called out!

A related quote:

If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive. If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative. –Unknown

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Just the other day, on a way from a bookstore, that quote appeared in my mind. Who said that? I’m sure I read it somewhere! A simple search on the web did not bring anything. But I did find something very related by Bill Cosby.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. –Bill Cosby

Does this affect me in any way?

Yes it does.

In a big way!

It stops me. It limits me. I don’t do things because of it!

Sometimes I hesitate, or don’t do something because I am not sure of how somebody else will receive it. I wonder, what will somebody think of me. Is this good enough for them?

Is it good enough for me?!

That should be the question I ask myself. If I like it, that’s a good enough reason for doing it.

Try to please yourself. To like yourself. To have faith in yourself.

When I start thinking about others and their reaction to what I do, that limits me, that puts pressure on me that I have to overcome.

I know. I should be stronger. But sometimes I am not. Or sometimes I give in to that “external” influence.

And that’s what’s wrong with trying to please everybody.

Trying to please everybody might stop you from doing anything!

So what’s better?

If something that you do pleases yourself, then that’s enough.

For instance, when you write a blog, this type of thinking comes up a lot. Especially when you gain some readership. What should I write about? What if I write about “something” and this and that is not going to like it. What will they think of me? I am going to look foolish/silly/stupid. Hmm.. Maybe I should write about something else. And on and on.

This loop is very dangerous.

Stop.

You’re not in the business of pleasing others. You want to learn. You want to grow. You want to move ahead.

You see. It’s about YOU!

Why don’t you write about something that you like and you feel satisfied? And if somebody else does not like it? It’s your blog! The power of choice! He or she can choose to read something else!

Plus, if that somebody else will feel strongly about it, or see something really bad, then they will let you know about it.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought if you realized how seldom they do. –Eleanor Roosevelt

I think we become too attached to something that we don’t really have. Something that we don’t really control. And that “thing” controls us! Don’t let that happen to you.

But it did.

It did to me.

But you can change it!

You want to be happy, right? You control your actions. Don’t be afraid to be yourself! And try to please yourself. (Others will like it!)

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I find this quote really inspiring. One that calls to action. Leadership situations, whether we are aware of them or not, are presented to us in a lot of ways. And more likely than not, we’ve either taken the challenge or passed on it.

Look around. Look around in your workplace. Look around in the clubs you belong (Toastmasters is a great example). You are either a leader in the group or you follow some other leader.

Situations to lead are presented to us in small (sometimes hidden) ways. How we act in these situations can tell you whether you’re interested in being a leader or not. There are a lot of ways we can step up, raise our voice, change the direction of the group. It happens all the time. These are leadership tasks! These build up a leader. This is how we can expose our leadership qualities.

What do you do in these situations? Do you hide or do you look for ways to take action?

It’s really a choice of whether you want to lead or you want to be lead.

Leadership is not just having a title to lead. Sometimes people with a title don’t know how to lead. And like I said, leadership opportunities present themself throughout our lives. Be conciuos of the fact. And remember: If you don’t step up, somebody else will. Start small. Take action. Lead!

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Don’t complain. Just do it. Be happy with what you have. We all have our own talents. Let’s use them to the fullest potential. My advice: find your talents, and utilize them to the fullest potential.

Each one of us is unique. We all have our own talents. You might be second guessing yourself. Don’t. You might be bad in some things, but great with others. I know that’s how I am. And I don’t really care.

Sure, my wife would like me to be somebody else. I would love to be like somebody else sometimes. But I am not. I am who I am. I accept that and I’m happy with it. I spend time on things I like to do.

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I love this quote. Too many times we focus on the end result. Too many times we think we are a failure because we’re not like somebody else. Too many times we stop because we have not achieved our goal. Instead, if we focus on progress and perseverance, I think we’d move ahead further.

Am I making progress? Am I better today than I was 6 months ago? If yes, then you are on a right track! Keep going!

One great example for this is Toastmasters. I attend meetings because I want to improve my communication skills. It’s a long term process. Sure, I would love to have the skills of somebody else that I admire. But that’s not the point. I have my own talents and skills, and the most important question for me is, am I making progress. It’s really a great feeling to see progress. Yes, I’d love to have excellent eye contact, vocal variety, body movement and other skills. But I am happy to see improvement in these areas. I am happy to see results from the changes that I try. And that’s what keeps me going. I don’t get discouraged.

Focus on making progress and you’ll reach excellence.

Reference
Speak and Lead Toastmasters — the club I belong to (currently serving as President)

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