The Lifelong Learner :: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are -Roosevelt ::

12 Keys To Winning an Argument

Excellent entry on lifehack.org.

We all argue. It’s just part of life. Try to avoid it if you can. But if you do it, you might as well do it right. These points tell you exactly how.

* Never Accuse your opponent of being wrong.

* If you realize you made a mistake admit it immediately.

* Be pleasant.

* Get your opponent saying “yes” It is a proven technique.

* Let them talk. “Enough rope,” “digging a hole” all that.

* Be receptive. We’ve already established we could be wrong.

* Make it their idea.

* Play on their wants.

* Plea for righteousness. Every body wants “whats right.”

* Back it up. If you’ve got data, use it.

* Issue a challenge. Men especially will fall for this.

* Be a Cool Hand Luke. Arguments can get emotional. It is to your advantage to be the calm rational one.

ReferenceReg Adkins, elementaltruths.blogspot.com

12 Keys To Winning an Argument, lifehack.org entry

Keys To Success

If you are determined to succeed, Glen Hopkins, the author of the book Lucrative List Building has some really good advice.

Apply and Test What You Learn

One of the two most important characteristics that successful people share is their constant strive to improve themselves through ongoing education.

Successful people are not content to simply learn. What separates them from unsuccessful people is their ability to apply and test what they learn.

You see, knowledge is absolutely useless unless you use it. Does it do you any good if it’s just taking up space in your head? NO!

In order for it to benefit you, you need to act on the knowledge that you have. You must, therefore, apply it to your life and your business.

The reason that stops most people is summed up in one word: fear.

FEAR: Don’t Let It Control You

The second key characteristic or trait that successful people share is that they act in spite of fear because they are not afraid to fail. They are fearless.

What is fear, anyway?

You can’t touch it. You can’t hold it. You can’t show it to another person. Then why do we have fear?

Fear is nothing more than an emotion or a feeling that we hold in our minds. We fear either the emotional or physical pain something may cause. The problem arises when these emotions and feelings affect the way we live our lives.

We fear doing certain things because we think we might fail. This may be due to past failures we have actually experienced, or it may be due to failures we fear we might experience.

You must put aside your imagined fears and go for it!

ReferenceSelf Improvement Newsletter, Aug 8, 2006

225 Free Hours

In America, everyone is pressed for time. We don’t have time to do anything. But did you know that you have over 225 (or more) hours per year to use?

It’s a simple rough calculation: 1/2 hrs * 2 (daily) * 5 (week) * 45 (roughly, yearly) = 225 hours.

If you are a typical worker, that is the amount of time you waste commuting to work. This figure could be a lot higher or a little lower, of course. That’s a lot of hours!

What do you do with these hours?

Did you know that you could put those hours “to use?” You could put those hours to your advantage.

You know where I’m going and how I’m thinking. I’m always trying to learn, and the amount of hours is just to great to go to waste. I use the majority of the time to listen to audiobooks. And I get them for free at my local library.

By not paying for the books is great, because if I don’t like a book or if it does not capture my tired mind, I dump it. I get another one.

But I don’t use all of my commute time to listen to audio tapes. I try to spend at least 10-15 minutes each way for quiet time — time with no music or other distractions. It allows me to relax and re-charge right after work. It allows me to be more creative. It’s a good way to think about different ideas. I let my mind think about anything it wants. I learned about this technique several months ago and have put it to use since then.

What are you doing with your hundreds of hours? Make them work for you. Use them to recharge and to learn!

Marriage: Be Yourself and How To Argue

There are many schools of thought on marriage. Some say that you should become half of yourself and take the other half from your spouse and blend into one. This might work for some but for others, and I think I’m in this camp, this will not. I discovered a different school of thought today.

Be YourselfYou should allow your spouse to be herself (and vice versa). You should be authentic. That’s the only way you’re going to be happy. I agree with this type of thinking. You want to be yourself because that’s what makes you happy.

Where did I learn about this? While listening to Shut Up, Stop Whining. It’s a “in your face” type of book, filled with many good suggestions and thoughts. I like it.

But how would that work? The way it’s going to work is that while still being yourself, you find some common set of things that you and your spouse love. You do those things together. You concentrate on them while you’re together and you build on top of them. What if you don’t have or cannot find anything in common? Then find somebody else! (He gives a lot of these types of advices in the book.)

ArguingAll couples argue. If you don’t, then you’re boring — at least that’s what the author says. I agree with him, though. The key is to argue well.

I’m sure you had a discussion with your spouse where you blame your spouse or you get blamed. It happens all the time. Those are called cheap shots. That’s exactly how you should not argue!

Concentrating on somebody or name calling is not the right way to resolve issues. The author of the book gives great advice: It’s good to argue but always concentrate on the thing not on the person. That’s great advice. Don’t use cheap shots, convince your spouse with solid arguments based on the facts that pertain to the thing you’re discussing. If you are tempted to say “because you are…,” stop, that’s a cheap shot, say “because this is….”

ReferenceShut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life by by Larry Winget

My 2006 Book List

Here are the books that I finished reading so far in 2006. This is to be updated throughout the year. My goal is to read/listen to at least ten.

This book is filled with good advice. The best part of the book is on how to manage well: mainly to play to each individual’s uniqueness and strengths. However, this book was monotone at times. This would be an excellent book if the most important parts were abridged into a 3-4 hour book, vs the 8 hours this book is. A useful book. I might re-read if when I become a manager.

I don’t know too much about Theodore Roosevelt but I do know that he was the US president. From this book, where I had hoped to learn a lot more about his political life, I did not accomplish that. This book is more about the Roosevelt family (which was interesting, and dramatic) than just about Theodore himself. Actually, this book does not do justice to Theodore’s life — more time was dedicated to his life with the cattle than his political life. This book was boring at times. I wanted to put it down since the beginning, but I did not, hoping it will get better. Not really. I believe there are better books on Theodore. After listening to autobiographies of John Adams, Franklin, and Hamilton, I am disappointed.

This book is loaded with useful parenting information. A lot of it is common sense, but hearing it from the author just puts a confirmation stamp on it. The main message I got: be consistent; when you say you’re going to do something, do it. One other thing, punishment might work, but most of the time it does not (I discovered this before — see my previous post, Parenting: How To Talk so Kids Listen & Learn). Taking away something they desire, does. Timeouts work as well.

I plan to re-listen to this book later.

A decent book (very good plot), but I think it’s overrated. It starts out great. However, from the middle on, even though it was creative, I did not think it was that interesting. I am not sure if I like fiction books. Knowing that it was a fiction, kind of killed it for me.

Enjoyable and informative book. It’s very easy to listen. You will hear about different things that happen that you never thought of. The one about abortion and crime is really fascinating. Good book but I think it’s a bit overrated.

America should really be thankful to their founding fathers. They did so much. They basically made America. And nobody did more, work harder and had more lasting effect than the work of Alexander Hamilton. He was a very plorific server for America. He did accomplish a lot. This is a fascinating story about a remarkable man. I cried at the end like I never did even in real life. Just a warning: it’s a 30 hour book and I wished it could have been a little shorter, as some stuff could be cut out.

Benjamin Franklin was a remarkable man. He accomplished a lot: he was a great printer, a scientist, a politician (and a girl lover :-) ). Benjamin Franklin did a lot for America. In this book, I learned all of that, and a lot more. The material is presented in a series of lectures, very hard to put down. Interesting style. I learned a lot about Mr. Franklin and about his times from this book.

By reading this book I learned how to work better, more efficient. I started taking breaks every 90-120 mins. It allows me to recharge my brain (if you’re doing a brain intensive activity you need to do it). I am sure that you can find something in this book that will make you work better. A helpful book.

A book on how brain works. Overall, fairly good stuff. There was one excellent chapter, Chapter 3, Genius and Superior Performance, which talks about how even I can become an expert. Because of this chapter, I’m going to keep the book for a while. The rest of the book is a little boring, though. The author talks about different aspects of the brain, how it works, how it reacts to different things. Might be interesting, but I had hard time concentrating.

This is a book written by a true leader, and an untainted executive (you’ll find out more in the book). The author, an executive who’s had the most success while at Medtronic, concentrates on timeless leadership values. The way he presents them, backed by examples really drew me in to the book (from start to finish). The title should have been more like “Authentic Executive Leadership” since it concentrates on CEOs of companies, but the values are applicable to every type of a leader, every type of a person. This is the best book on leadership I’ve read (listened).

A good book. It contains some good information, but there are better leadership books out there.

oks&v=glance&n=283155", /*my-review-url*/ "", /*authors-url*/ "", /*pic-location*/ "2006/RobertsRulesOfWriting.gif", /*isbn*/ "1582973261", /*date-read*/ "2/2006", /* stars -- number*/ "4" ); ?>I’m giving it four stars because it is a book geared towards writers. I’m not a writer and I don’t want to be a writer. I want to improve my writing. This book contains a lot of help in that regard. There are 14 tips in the book that I marked as either excellent or very good. Chances are, you will find something good for yourself. A very good book.

I’m not a history buff. I’m actually pretty bad in history, but this book was amazing. John Adams was a man of character. America has a lot to be thankful to John Adams for what he did during the time of Independence movement. I learned a lot about John Adams, about the early struggles, etc. This is the best non-tech book I’ve listened to.

Abortion and Crime

What does abortion have to do with crime?

If you’ve read Freakonomics, which I’m currently enjoying listening to, you would know. It’s fascinating to hear. And you would not think it is true. But it is, and the authors have reasonable evidence to support it. Okay already, what is it?

Abortion reduces crime. In a big way, actually. What? You might be wondering. Actually, it does. Why? Because woman that usually have an abortion decide that they cannot raise the child, or are in a difficult situation (on drugs, etc). A lot of those times, if it weren’t for abortion, they would raise a kid that would be more likely to commit a crime.

This theory has been tested in several states in America. They did not know why crime was falling in America in the 1990s. Almost everywhere in US. They thought it was because of the booming economy, which doesn’t have too much to do with it. It turns out that because legalized abortion was put in place in the 1970s, in 1990s when they would become adults, the crime started falling. Want more support for this theory? In those states that had enacted legalized abortion two years earlier, crime started falling earlier. That’s no coincidence.

Isn’t that fascinating?

I recommend reading/listening to Freakonomics to find our this and other stories like that. It’s a very good book and a quick listen.

A Humble Leader

What makes a good leader?

I don’t think there is one answer to this question. There are different views on that. But there are some characteristics that a leader should have. The following sums it up nicely:

“We want honest leaders, who are decisive, creative, optimistic and even courageous …. one of the most critical traits of a leader: humility. A humble leader listens to others. He or she values input from employees and is ready to hear the truth, even if it’s bad news. Humility is marked by an ability to admit mistakes.”

ReferenceThe above quote is taken from a very good blog post about leadership, Humble Leaders – An Oxymoron?

Baby Name Popularity Checker

This is cool stuff. I always wanted to know how popular a particular name has been. Now, I need to more than ever. Why? My wife is eight months pregnant! It’s exciting. We still have not settled on a name, though. We both like Jacob (or Jakub), but I think it’s just too common. It was number one in 1995, according to the chart. I like the name Fabian and I’m trying to convince my wife to go with it. It’s a unique name, but it’s usage, looks like, has spiked in recent years.

Anyway, a fun tool to play with. Especially when you are in a stage you need to pick a name. :-)

The Baby Name Wizard

See How Fast You Type

Test your typing speed!

Try it several times and average it out. I tried it twice and my speed is around 80 words per minute. Not too bad, but could do a lot better. I guess I need to improve, but I think I keep improving year by year.

How fast can you type?

ReferenceHow fast can you type, Otaku Cedric’s post — that’s how I learned about this tool

Take Your Blog To The Top

Some good information how to have a better blog.

  1. Question, Guy Kawasaki: What can a blogger do toascend the Technorati 100—or simply write a better blog, forthat matter?

    Answer, David Sifry, the founder and CEO of Technorati: There are no hard and fast rules, but Ican provide afew guidelines that seem to have worked well for the preponderance ofthe blogs on the Top 100:

    • Post often and post at regular intervals.Ideally at least once a day, or even more often.

    • Figure out what kind of blogger you are.Are you a blogger wholoves to collect links? Are you an essayist who loves to argue pointsof articulate new ideas? Are you a storyteller? Are you morecomfortable with video, audio, photos, or text, or all three? Try stuffout and see what you feel most comfortable doing, and then try to stickto it.

    • Link prolifically. Give yourreaders the benefit of youpreparing all of the source materials for them. Also, if you arerebutting or commenting on someone else’s idea or point, itis a signof respect to link to them. The hyperlink is becoming a new form ofsocial gesture used between people. Tools like Technorati also help youto find out who has linked to you, so when I see a blogger who haslinked to me recently, I’m more inclined to discuss his orher ideasand link back to them, driving traffic and conversation.

    • Be honest. There are very fewpeople who can get away with building up personas, and you probablyaren’t one of them.

    • Write about what you know. It makesfor much more engaging and interesting reading. I love blogs like EnglishCut, because he knows so much about the world of Saville Rowand he writes about it.

    • Be Passionate. Nobody likes boringwriting about boring subjects. First find your passion, then express iton your blog!

    • Practice, practice, practice. Yourwriting or podcasting or videoblogging—whatever will getbetter as you do it more. Keep it up.

    • Get a Technoratiwatchlist for your blog and for your name.Know when people are talking about you and be able torespond—either incomments on their blog, or even better, on your own blog, with a linkto the other blog.

    • Get a full-text RSS and Atom feed.Make it easy for people to subscribe to your blog. I’drecommend a service like Feedburner tomanage those feeds for you and get you stats.

    • Use tagging. Tags are an easy wayto create open categories, andthey help to make it easier to find your blog. You can get a tutorialwith tools here.

    • Claim your blog and put in blog tags.This puts you into the world’s largest blog directory, Blogfinder,which already has over two million entries. And it means that if youwrite authoritatively about a certain topic, you’ll show uppretty highon the list for that topic. Which means you’ll get moretraffic and newreaders and links.

ReferenceTen Questions with David Sifry, Guy Kawasaki

Favorite Quote

Topics

Tags

Archive

Currently Reading

Info

© 2001-2023 Stanley Kubasek About me :: Contact me

Me on Twitter

»see more

Recent Entries