The Lifelong Learner :: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are -Roosevelt ::

Posts Tagged 'communication'

Being an Awesome Dad August 24th, 2007
12 Keys To Winning an Argument August 17th, 2006
Join Toastmasters! September 27th, 2005

Being an Awesome Dad

Having a good connection with you son or daughter is probably the most important part in being a good father. That means being able to communicate well with your child. How do you do it? I found some really good, common sense advice on how to do it well. Read on.

Awesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions

An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that itself is perfect, because imperfection allows us to really understand the personal evolution our children are going through with us. The definition of an Awesome Dad, then, is the father who stays in the game, shows up fully and sets powerful intentions to grow into. Here are some:

I listen with my entire being – and without judgment. I seek first to understand and appreciate what my children say. From that vantage point, I will build their trust in me and be most supportive.

I see others as equals, neither superior nor inferior to me. Every person is a unique individual, just like everyone else on the planet. (hee hee)! We each have our own journey and everyone we encounter is integral to our life’s objectives. Children are no less important and should be treated with equal respect.

I engage my curiosity completely. I truly want to understand and try to grasp all that is going on for my children. I want to see the world afresh from their perspectives and glean new insights through them. I ask questions without an agenda.

I consider all perspectives and choose consciously. In this world of infinite possibilities, I seek to understand where everyone is coming from and only then choose what resonates most. I share this process with those I love.

First, do no harm! I communicate to foster understanding and growth but never to hurt. “Sticks and stones…” I know my words can cut deeper, and the resulting wounds take longer to heal.

I tell stories that speak to the heart. When I speak from the heart, my words penetrate other’s hearts. Parables and personal stories are easy to accept and are rarely accusatory, though often funny and informative.

I articulate the nuances. I use a rich vocabulary to communicate distinctions that will help to raise awareness and expand my family’s appreciation of life.

I understand the power of my touch. From a gentle touch on the cheek, to a vigorous backrub, to wrestling on the floor, I communicate my love through the powerful medium of touch. And I know when to refrain as well.

I share what’s there. I discuss difficult issues that warrant open communication without fear. I believe open communication will lead to the greatest family unity, even though the journey may be difficult.

My actions are congruent with my values. I am keenly aware that my actions speak louder than my words. The best communication is when words and actions match perfectly. Values in action…

Copyright 2004 by CoachVille, Dovid Grossman and Ken Mossman

About The AuthorMy father was a very successful engineer. But he and I never got along, and we fought all the time. One day, when I was 17, I told him, “I always wanted a close relationship with you, but we don’t have it.” I watched as three tears squeezed out of his pained eyes. And he said, “I’ve always wanted that, too, but I just don’t know how to do it.” Since that day, we haven’t argued. I got it. I understood his love for me was really deep. A lot of fathers are in the same boat. They love their kids dearly. But they don’t know how to express this in a way that their kids understand it. Which means there’s great pain in one of the most important relationships in their lives. I offer adventure, mentoring and coaching programs for fathers to become Awesome Dads. The benefits are a lifetime of pleasure and pride with the most important people in their lives. coach@dovidgrossman.com

ReferenceAwesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions – Parenting Ideas

12 Keys To Winning an Argument

Excellent entry on lifehack.org.

We all argue. It’s just part of life. Try to avoid it if you can. But if you do it, you might as well do it right. These points tell you exactly how.

* Never Accuse your opponent of being wrong.

* If you realize you made a mistake admit it immediately.

* Be pleasant.

* Get your opponent saying “yes” It is a proven technique.

* Let them talk. “Enough rope,” “digging a hole” all that.

* Be receptive. We’ve already established we could be wrong.

* Make it their idea.

* Play on their wants.

* Plea for righteousness. Every body wants “whats right.”

* Back it up. If you’ve got data, use it.

* Issue a challenge. Men especially will fall for this.

* Be a Cool Hand Luke. Arguments can get emotional. It is to your advantage to be the calm rational one.

ReferenceReg Adkins, elementaltruths.blogspot.com

12 Keys To Winning an Argument, lifehack.org entry

Join Toastmasters!

Do you want to become a better communicator? A better speaker? Do you want a guarantee with that as well? I’m serius. Join a Toastmasters club! You will become a better communicator, a better speaker, and a more confident person. That’s a given. I’ll tell you my story.

I joined the Fairleigh Early Birds Toastmasters in Rutherford, NJ a year a half ago. I was a chicken then: I did not want to speak in a group; I was afraid to speak; I had no eye contact. I was just a bad communicator. Since joining Toastmasters, I have become more confident, I am not afraid to speak, and I think I’m just a better communicator overall. I am not a great communicator (not yet :-) ), but comparing myself now and from a year ago, I see big improvement.

Since joining FEB TM, I have become more involved in the club. I am now the Vice President of Education — I schedule people to speak, evaluate, and for other roles. I have also set up a web presence for our club: website (with an integrated blog), a mailing list, and a new domain, feb-tm.org. So, as you can see, leadership roles are available as well.

At each Toastmasters meeting, each member gets a chance to speak. If you are not one of the three speakers, you participate in Table Topics. In Table Topics you are asked a question and you are given a minute to two to answer it. No preparation. Also, we have different roles at each meeting: timer, grammarian, wordmaster, general evaluator, evaluators, invocator, and table topics master. Each member gets a chance to have each role: a Toastmaster wears many hats.

Still not convinced? Guests are welcome at almost all of the clubs.

Want to see for yourself? Find a club near you. Go to Toastmasters.org and click Find a Club.

Fairleigh Early Birds Toastmasters meet in Rutherford, NJ (Bergen County) at the Rutherford Libary every Saturday from 9-11AM.

It’s a small investment in time (most clubs meet every two weeks for two hours) and money (most are around $30-40 every six months, FEB charges $33), but the results are guaranteed.

I believe that communication skills are the most important skills to have…

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